(Nor is it just solely in the arena of schoolwork that a healthy disregard for your child's feelings is recommended.

And it is crucial for a mother to have the 'fortitude' to override her children's preferences, because to enjoy anything you have to be good at it, to be good at it you have to work, and children on their own never wish to work, she adds. 'That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child,' Chua says. If their child doesn't achieve perfect exam results, the Chinese parent assumes it's because he or she didn't work hard enough. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently,' she says. 'Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. with their emphasis on nurturing their children's self-esteem and allowing free expression, have set their children up to accept mediocrity. They were also expected to be top in every subject (except gym and drama) and never get anything other than A-grades – because, Chua explains, Chinese parents believe it is their responsibility to ensure their children's academic achievement above everything else.Ĭhua argues that western parents. Her children were never allowed to attend a sleepover, have a playdate, watch TV or choose their own extracurricular activities. And as a 'Tiger mother' herself, she assumed the absolute right to dictate her children's activities and demand rigorous academic standards of them at all times, ridiculing them if necessary to spur them on to greater efforts. The Tiger, Chua explains, is 'the living symbol of strength and power', inspiring fear and respect.

Tiger parenting book